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Who Should Officiate?

When it comes to making decisions about your big day, a top area of "concern" tends to be WHO will actually marry you?


Your pastor/priest/rabbi/minister?

Your parent?

A family friend or relative?



At the end of the day you can make anything work, and it's most important that it's someone you trust. So, as you make this decision, here are some things to consider before you find the perfect person to pronounce you married, officially!


First up, who should marry you. You have a few options here:


Celebrant—Someone who performs religious or secular ceremonies for marriage. They can be an ordained clergy member, secular officiant or legal official, (like a judge.)



Religious—A priest, rabbi, minister or other religious officiant. This is often the best option, especially if you are a member of a church, or other religious house of worship. This option tends to lend itself to more tradition. Note here that many churches and religious houses of worship require membership of their church in order to marry you and/or may require you and your future spouse to attend some kind of marital counseling before you are married. Just inquire!


Secular—A certified, nonreligious celebrant, unaffiliated with any religious organization, has certification from an organization such as the Celebrant USA Foundation & Institute.



Civil—Responsible for witnessing and validating the consent of marriage between you and your future spouse for the wedding license, and are legally registered with the local city clerk’s office. Usually, hiring a civil servant is much like hiring other vendors.


Friend or Family Member—Go full blown F.R.I.E.N.D.S style and let your friend or relative officiate. This is a great option especially if your friend/family member is ordained, or often preforms weddings! Just be sure they know what they're doing and they have all the legal credentials to do so!




Key things to think about (regardless of who you choose):


Chemistry

Just like with any other vendor, you will want to make sure you have chemistry with this individual. It becomes more personal and connected if you and your future spouse know this person somewhat and have spent at least some time with them.


You can't wing it, so review it!

Be sure to review the order of ceremony with your officiant. This allows you to customize specific wording, decide if you want to write your own vows or just use traditional ones, and add any personal touches to your ceremony that you may want!



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